regrets

have you guys ever made a wrong decision and end up regretting so much you wish you could rewind time so bad? I'm always letting all of these good chances slip by unknowingly and not cherishing them when I had the chance. It's so stupid of me to take things for granted, I deserve all of this bullshit, there's no one else to blame but myself, no point feeling sorry for myself, no point regretting something that I cannot change.......

I haven't had a break down since so long and I'm finally letting my feelings out sigh I'm extremely affected today especially after I've poured out my feelings to Cheryl who is now sitting beside me in class (yay)

O's are approaching and there's no time for me to be an emotional wreck, there are so much more serious problems in the world and mine is nothing compared to theirs, I choose to believe that everything will be alright, someday, somehow.

jogs

went for a good 4km run with my mom just now and this sounds weird but running makes me happy (wHAT) hahahaha exercising releases endorphins so it kinda makes sense hehe. Actually, the process of running doesn't make me happy, completing a run makes me happy :'D I really like the feeling of contentment after completing a run, especially since how I'm basically always grasping for air during my run and managing to complete a certain distance gives me a huge sense of achievement :'D


School starts late for graduating classes from tomorrow onwards since there's night study yay. Ok good night :-)

baking cookies!

spent my evening after dinner baking with my family! turns out super sweet but it's ok, we shall try until we succeed!!! :-) can't wait to bake more after O's! :) I'd love to try out new recipes! & I was telling my mom how we should come out with our recipe and sell cookies since she's always at home!!! It's cool how we all share a common interest for baking - family bonding time ;-)

Bieber fest

it has been a week since Bieber fest! and also a reminder that one week has passed and we're one week closer to O's. Will time please slow down so I have more time to study, or perhaps quicken so O's will be over? I don't even know.

forgive and forget

"forgive and forget"

something that is easier said than done, I must say I am someone who forgives easily but without a doubt, I'm not someone who forgets easily. You cannot expect me to forget something that has made a huge emotional impact on me and take it as it. I was undeniably hugely affected and even though it has been years since it happened, I'll never forget how terrible I felt for the first time in my life. At that point of time, I felt like I was in my darkest period and I felt so hurt, yet I'm too weak and too powerless to do anything. It may seem like something small to others but to me, it's not.

However it's not to the extent of bearing grudges and wanting revenge, I'm just not able to accept people who've hurt me in my life, it is extremely difficult.

But I'm working on it, and I'm trying my best to no longer think about what happened and move on. I must learn to forget, forget about all the bad things that have happened and move on with life.

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." - Louis B. Smedes

and you let her go

Why do I constantly check your ask.fm even though I know I will end up upsetting myself? Why am I still affected by you? I chose to give up the chance of being with you and I have no rights to be jealous....... I had the choice, we had the chance but I chose not to.

I can't believe i am so affected by what I got to know of. I should be happy for you that you found someone new, someone whom will treasure you more than I did.

I really miss you junwan....... but I know I shouldn't be :-( I know things will never be the same again...... get hold of yourself Lynn, get over him & focus on your studies :'( STOP TRYING TO HURT HIS FEELING TIME AFTER TIME....... LEARN TO LET GO

Star

Ms wang gave us this lollipop today as a motivation for us to work hard for O'levels and to remind us that we're all stars- it's so nice of her!! I really like receiving small thoughtful gifts like this :-) oh & we are 25 days away from O'levels and the nerves are kicking in again. The fact that time is passing by so quickly isn't helping at all too. Night study starts from tomorrow, it's not compulsory but I'll give it a go! Gonna be a tiring month ahead (mentally preparing myself) and I hope I'll be able to go through it smoothly.

grateful

I am beyond grateful for what's happening in my life right now, mainly because of Justin's concert last night :) I've been a belieber since 2009, and being able to see him live and up close makes me extremely happy!!!! (I'm trying so hard not to spaz here right now hahaha) I HAD THE BEST TIME OF MY LIFE and we met a group of amazing beliebers at the concert which makes everything even better! I took about 600+ pictures & I'll blog about it next time! I MISS JUSTIN SO MUCH IM SUFFERING FROM POST CONCERT DEPRESSION



HE WAS SO CLOSE IT FELT SO SURREAL


Besides the concert, I'm kinda happy with my results this time round. I wouldn't say it's extremely good, but I've definitely improved (finally!) It feels like my hard work is starting to pay off and it gives me the confidence, to believe in myself and strive even harder for the last month. I'm so glad I improved, especially for my math & sciences and I hope I'll get even better grades than this time round. (I have to!!) O's are in a month's time and I made a promise to myself to do my very best and give it my all :-) life's good right now, everything is going well and I hope it stays this way!!!