broken

I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm literally heart broken. I feel like I've dropped into a huge abyss when I read your ask fm. I refuse to let myself cry even though it would be a form of catharsis for me. I'm not going to let myself waste my time crying, I can't do that......

I can't believe that what I've been preventing from happening during my O's actually happened. I refused to get into a relationship to focus on my O's as I'm afraid that I will end up getting heartbroken and affected but guess what, I ended up losing a chance to get into a relationship with someone whom I truly liked AND also getting, heartbroken.

I know I shouldn't be hanging on to this matter, and I should let go. Especially how I was the one who has constantly been pushing you away, I have no rights to stop you from liking other girls. I don't.

I don't know how Im gonna face you in school and since how you have no idea how I'm feeling right now...... I have to put on a smile and reassure myself that everything will eventually be alright.

I'm not gonna let my tears flow,

not anytime tonight.....